Green Eggs and Sai
by Laziness Incarnate
Summary: How Sai persuaded Hikaru to play go, in the style of Dr. Seuss's wonderful Green Eggs and Ham.


**Green Eggs and Sai**

I am Shindou.  
Shindou Hikaru.

_I am Sai.  
__Fujiwara no Sai.__  
_

That Fujiwara no Sai!  
That Fujiwara no Sai!  
I do not like that Fujiwara no Sai!

_Would you like to play some go?_

No, I would not like to play some go.  
I would not like to play some go, although...  
I do not like to puke at school.  
I do not like it.  
It's so uncool.  
BLEAARRGGH!

_Poor Hikaru in his misery.  
__Do you need help with history?  
__I can help you! But __**not for free.**_

Ugh, fine! You win, okay?  
We'll play some go, but just today.  
Look, there's a kid, let's ask him, yay.

_Should I, may I cut off his head?_

No, you should not, may not cut off his head.  
If you do that the kid is dead.  
Look, he's upset - it's time we fled!

_Hikaru is such an airhead._

Ack, now it's Touya's scary dad.  
You go players are all kind of sad.  
...Except those shining hands are pretty rad.

_Hikaru, would you like to learn to play?  
__I can teach you! Just say! Just say!  
__Like Torajirou before you, it's all the same.  
__I'll do anything to play this game._

Sai, why do you play  
after a thousand years?  
Sai, why do you play  
after a thousand tears?

_Because I still love go, both then and now.  
__I will play it no matter how._

Would you play in a school-based club?

_I would play some kids in a club.  
__I would play them with lots of love.  
__I still love go, both then and now.  
__I will play it no matter how._

Would you play it on the Internet?

_I would gladly play it on the Internet.  
__...though I do not know what that is, quite yet.  
__But anyway, I would play some kids in a club.  
__I would play them with lots of love.  
__I still love go, both then and now.  
__I will play it no matter how._

Insei! How 'bout some insei?  
Could you, would you, play some insei?

_I would play in an insei class.  
__The pro exam? I'd surely pass.  
__I would play games on the Internet.  
__(Though I still don't know what that is quite yet.)  
__I would play some kids in a school-based club.  
__I would play them with lots of love.  
__I still love go, both then and now.  
__I will play it no matter how._

Say!  
In the dark?  
In a room profoundly dark?  
Would you, could you, in the dark?

_Of course, of course, even in the dark.  
__From the shadows I would make my mark.  
__I'd find my rival and meet him there.  
__When it's your rival you do not care.  
__And I would play in an insei class.  
__The pro exam? I'd surely pass.  
__And I would play games on the Internet.  
__(Though I still don't know what that is quite yet.)  
__And I would play some kids in a club.  
__I would play them with lots of love.  
__Because I still love go, both then and now.  
__I will play it no matter how._

Would you play a scary man in white?

_Well,  
__if I would play it even in the dark,  
__if from the shadows I would make my mark,  
__if I would play it in an insei class,  
__if the pro exam I'd surely pass,  
__if I would play games on the Internet,  
__(even now knowing what that is quite yet)  
__if I would play some kids in a club,  
__if I would play them with lots of love,  
__if I still love go, both then and now,  
__if I will play it no matter how,  
__...then I guess I could play a scary man in white.  
__But only if he were drunk that night, all right?_

Would you find the Hand of God?

_I'll find the Hand, please have no fear,  
__I'll find it, Hikaru - even now I'm near.  
__Like Torajirou before you, it's all the same.  
__I'd do anything to play this game.  
__I'd play a scary man in white.  
__Well, as long as he were drunk that night,  
__And I would play it even in the dark,  
__From the shadows I would make my mark.  
__And I would play in an insei class.  
__The pro exam? I'd surely pass.  
__And I would play games on the Internet.  
__(Though I still don't know what that is quite yet.)  
__And I would play some kids in a club.  
__I would play them with lots of love.  
__For I still love go, both then and now.  
__I will play it, Hikaru, no matter how._

What if you had to disappear?

_That is an inquiry most queer.  
__I've lived this long, a thousand years.  
__I'll play this game for eternity,  
__mixing the ancient with modernity.  
__Like Torajirou before you, it's all the same.  
__You must help me play my game._

But I do not love  
this game you love.  
It is only slightly cool,  
kind of, sort of.

_You do not like it.  
__So you say.  
__But try it! Try it!  
__And you may.  
__Hikaru, Hikaru, what do you say?_

Well...  
Okay.

_Hurray!_

(pachi! pachi! pachi!)

...Say!

I like this game you made me try!  
I really like it, Fujiwara no Sai!  
I'll reach the Hand, though it's pretty clear,  
Right now I am nowhere, nowhere near!  
But I'll chase my rival and meet him there!  
'Cause when it's your rival you do not care!  
I'll even play a scary man in white!  
Well, as long as he is drunk that night!  
And I will play go in the dark profound!  
In that room my strength will sound!  
And I will play it in an insei class!  
The pro exam? I'll kick its ass!  
And I will play games on the Internet!  
Unlike you, I know what that is, nyeh!  
And I will play my classmates in a club!  
I will play them with lots and lots of love!  
For I DO love go, forever and now!  
I will play it, Sai, no matter how!  
I'll play this game for eternity!  
Mixing your style with modernity!

_Aren't you glad I made you try?_

I am so glad you made me try,  
Thank you!  
Thank you,  
Fujiawara no Sai.

_One day I know that you will be  
__a great go player, you will see._

Yes, and on my own now,  
I can fly.  
My future is  
an endless sky!

_Wonderful!  
__...but what about Fujiwara no Sai?_

- End -


End file.
